...so i touched it.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
