Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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