Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
