dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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