kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
