I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize