I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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