Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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