terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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