Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
