i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
