I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
