Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
