so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me I should be a condom model.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
