we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
