listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
