Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
