I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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