I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
