Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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