i can't believe i had my finger in that
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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