My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My brain says no but my pants say off.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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