ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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