thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
