I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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