Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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