drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
