I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
