i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
