Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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