You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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