I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
