I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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