remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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