I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize