she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
