i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
