did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
