The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
