Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
birth control should be required to get into college
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already