oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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