Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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