i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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