Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
