Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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