We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
