Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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