I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
