i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
love makes seman taste better
my being single is dangerous.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
