Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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