I just saw a hot homeless man
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
