Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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