OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
