Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
