The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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