I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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