You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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