so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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