here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
