Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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