i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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