Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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