I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
