"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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