I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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