would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
